My hmphs

I’ve thought about doing away with Hmph Day, but the posts are so easy to write. Each week, I can find one of three things:

1. A rapper arrested on weapons charges
2. Amy Winehouse in the hospital/arrested/seen using drugs
3. Liam Gallagher mouthing off.

This week, it’s Liam’s turn. In an interview with The Times, he called Radiohead’s fans “boring and ugly,” and “they don’t look like they’re having a good time.” Now I’ve never really understood why Oasis was called the second coming of the Beatles; most of it was hype, and I find their music rather noisy and Liam’s voice nasal and irritating. But they’ve never lived up to the hype.

Not having gone to either group’s concerts, I can’t judge on whether Radiohead’s fans are having a good time. But I do know a bunch of people have gone, and they are neither boring or ugly. And I think I would have a good time at a Radiohead concert.

This is yet another example of Liam saying something obnoxious to get attention for his band, which became irrelevant about half a decade ago. What would be even more disturbing is if he actually believed some of the stuff he said.

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I subscribe to MTV’s RSS feed - mainly to find stories of undertalented, overhyped artists to laugh about and use on Hmph Day.

Lately, though, I’ve found an interesting pattern: it seems that hip-hop stars are using MTV as a sounding board against their rivals. And MTV obliges every time. Take, for instance, the following headlines from the last 30 days:

• “Jay-Z Talks About Glastonbury Triumph, Amy Winehouse’s Dis Of Kanye West”
• “Is 50 Cent Dissing T.I. On G-Unit’s ‘You So Tough’? ‘It’s Absolutely For The Public To Decide,’ MC Says”
• “50 Cent Says ‘I Don’t View Young Buck As My Enemy,’ Claims He’s Not Going To War With Former G-Unit Member”
• “Young Jeezy Puts On For T.I., Nas, Swizz Beatz At Vibe Party” (I have no idea what this means, but it sounds bad.)
• “Bow Wow’s Just Teasing Omarion In ‘Lookin’ Boy,’ But He’s Serious About Soulja Boy Tell’em Collabo”
• “GZA Disses 50 Cent In New ‘Paper Plate’ Track, Implies G-Unit’s Music Is ‘Disposable’”
• “50 Cent Sues Taco Bell” (This one’s not really a good example; just a funny headline. I mean, who sues Taco Bell?)
• “Trick Daddy Denies Beef With Rick Ross, Says He’s Not Responsible For Prison-Guard Rumors”

Doesn’t that sound like a bunch of WWE wrestlers threatening each other, creating hype for their next match? Given that I treat hip-hop with the same respect that I do professional wrestling, I shouldn’t be surprised. But it all does seem a bit…childish.

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• Hmph Day: Remember Music Television? (0)

Music TeleVision. Yep, that’s what MTV actually stands for. Of course, we all know that MTV hasn’t been a music video channel since Blink-182 was a household word.

But when did VH1 abandon us?

Sure, I’ve noticed that “Behind the Music” was canceled (despite my repeated e-mails to the company), to be replaced by shows like “The 100 Most Popular Child Stars.” But in some ways, the MTV-owned channel is worse than its parent company.

VH1 was always the square peg, and it wore that moniker proudly. And as the MTV crowd grew older, it assumed that VH1 would continue with Melissa Etheridge and Sting videos. But it has veered sharply from that focus.

For example, here’s today’s schedule:

6-11 a.m. Music videos! Maybe it’s not so bad…
11 a.m: “From G’s to Gents.” Features 14 gangsters who are willing to change their lives and become gentlemen.
1 p.m.: “I Love Money.” 15 cast members from previous smutty VH1 shows battle it out for fame and money!
3 p.m.: “20 Greatest Celebreality Fights”
4 p.m.: “40 Hottest Over 40″
6 p.m.: “Brooke Knows Best.” The spin-off from the ill-conceived “Hogan Knows Best.”
7 p.m.: “Maxim Hot 100″
8 p.m. “40 Hottest Hotties of the 90s”
10:30 p.m.: “Celebrity Sex”
11:30 p.m.: Movie - “Showgirls” (Yes, that “Showgirls”)

Their web site isn’t much better. Today, the cover story is “Brandi C. Talks Porn!” I’m not really sure who Brandi C. is, but I don’t think she sings. Another feature is “Will Brooke Get Naked for Playboy?” Another link begs us to “Watch Crazy Kinky Sex.”

Now I’m not one to play the prude. But it’s clear that VH1’s focus is um, something else besides music. I’d expect this from E! or Spike, not VH1.

Sigh. Where’s a Sheena Easton video when you need it?

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